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The Daydreamer
My name is Sheeanna (SHEE-AN-NUH). You can call me shee. Im 19 (4 3/4) years YOUNG and my birthday is leap day
(February 29th). I have a rather weird assortment of obsessions, such as alvin & the chipmunks, purple objects, DISNEY movies,
adam lambert, GLEE, pugs,lady gaga, karaoke, and shopping. I run for my life away from bugs and spiders, snakes,
gun shots, needles, and hospitals. I'm in my second semester at Alfred State majoring in culinary arts , and aspire to
someday work in the field of party planning or catering.
want to know more? or are you already scared?
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2/29 20th (5) Birthday!
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3/10 - 3/18 Spring Break
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5/11 - 8/26 Summer 2012 ♥
8/27 Fall Semester Starts
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The rules are so simple. BE NICE and DONT SPAM. I dont care if you swear, AS LONG AS IT ISNT DIRECTED
TOWARD ANYONE! Anyone who chooses to break either of these rules will be banned. Plain & Simple.
all that exciting stuff - jan. 22 12:35pm
It hasn't really been that long, but I don't have that much planned for today. A shower, at some point when I get off my lazy ass, and then laundry and one homework
assignment. So I thought I'd catch up while I have some time.
Classes started last Monday. They're going okay so far, I'm not sure who my favorite instructor is yet for lecture; there's a couple returning instructors and one
new one (for both lab and lecture), and there's one instructor I haven't had for either lab or lecture (she's one of the baking instructors). So far, all seem to
be pretty fair, considering all the classroom and class regulations are the same for all classes, and the instructors seem pretty fair, the new and the old. This
week, and last week, I'm on evening lab; that would be my Friday the 13th bad luck for this month; however, the evening lab set up has changed.
Originally, it was set up as 3 senior students work on the hot entrees and rotate so that they can work on each entree one time, and the freshmen rotate the same
way, except one is on appetizers, one on salads, and one on soups. The old Evening Lab was set up as a 5 course meal, and it was really stressful because of timing
and making sure the next course was ready to go out when the previous meal was finished; however, the new evening lab is set up as a bistro setting.
There are still 3 seniors working on the hot entrees and the 3 freshmen working on appetizers, soups, & salads/cold entrees; however, they don't rotate every day
to a new station. It stays the same: one freshmen on hot entrees; one on soups and side salads; one on the entree salads; one senior on the vegetables for hot
entrees; one on the grill; and one on the starches. I think I like this new set up; however, I haven't been in the kitchen yet. I served last week, the
easiest job. I'm a bit anxious about this week, being in the kitchen, and my being terrified of Chef Kelley (he's not one of my lecture instructors this semester,
just the evening lab instructor) doesn't really help much, but my anxiety got better toward the end of last semester, and working at home, I've seemed to improve
in the kitchen, with knife skills and even cooking/baking, so hopefully I'll do better this evening lab rotation. I've started looking at it with a new perspective:
I'm learning how to cook, not be a chef in the kitchen, which is really what the Culinary program teaches students: how to work in a restaurant and/or own your own
restaurant. I'm learning new skills, new recipes, and sometimes, even catering, which may be what I go into. If Chef Kelley doesn't like something I do and yells at
me (which I'm hoping won't happen), I won't let it get to me; I know what I'm capable of, and I know that I'm not the only one that he would do that too.
So, I have a single dorm now. Meliisa moved out earlier last week; she found a single a floor above us. I bought out my room (for $400) and just arranged it
yesterday. So far, I like living in a single; I don't know if I'll do it next semester or not, but I have some time to think about that; for now, I'm just gonna
keep doing what I'm doing.
I'm going to be getting pretty busy soon; volleyball practices start next month, and as soon as evening lab ends, I'll be going to jazz rehearsals. I'm not sure if I'll
even have time to update, or if I'll be alive from volleyball because of how out-of-shape I am. It'll probably be good that I'm keeping busy, and if I really am not
happy with the culinary, I'll have extra-curriculars to keep me happy. I'm gonna try to get this Culinary degree, even if it's just an Associate's, and then move onto
Event Planning schools. I've already found a couple I might be interested in, one in Maryland (the one I mistaken for being in North Carolina) and also one in Toronto.
But I'm not gonna settle for either of those 2 yet, I'm still looking at schools.
As I mentioned on Alona's blog, my mom is going to have surgery soon. She hasn't scheduled it yet, but she's getting a hysterectomy done. She has thyroid problems,
and it's caused tiny, noncancerous tumors. I'm sort of upset because, well for one thing, it's my mom; she's not even 50 yet, and she's getting this surgery done;
for another, it could happen to me someday. I know this surgery is routine, and that she'll be okay when it's over, but still, I still worry, even if it is nothing.
I've always done that, it's just how I am.
first update of the new year! - jan. 2 11:29am
Hey loves, I know it's been a while, but I worked myself into the ground, last month, with preparing for Christmas at my house (I'm not trying to sound
conceited, but if it weren't for me, nothing would've been done), working at Cuba Cheese, and also preoccupying my mind with things that I
shouldn't be worrying about, such as not being able to find a job when I'm in or on break from school.
Speaking of school, my overall GPA was a 2.68: 2 B's and 2 C's...I'm quite alright with that, but what's really been bugging me is why I'm not looking forward to
what's gonna come to me in the next semester of Culinary. I don't know what it is that's making me not as excited about the next semester, whether it's my anxiety
playing a role in it, or if I'm really just not happy with being in the program, but whatever the reason, I'm gonna try to stick it out for another semester, to see
if I really do enjoy what I'm doing and it's just anxiety that's making me not want to be there, or if it's time for me to just leave Alfred and leave NY and go to
Event Planning school in Maryland.
Well, I hope everyone's Christmas was good, and that everyone had a good day. Overall, I had a good Christmas; however, before and on Christmas day, when my sister
came home, there was some drama between her and my mom (the same fights that they used to have back when she was in high school: stupid reasons), which kind of upset
me, because it seems like there just can't be one Christmas without stress or drama...yea, with my family, good luck with that one.
With my 91 year old, cold-hearted grandma who is having a hard time getting around, coming to stay with us from Jamestown (an hour away) for Christmas Eve, then having
to travel on Christmas day half an hour west of Jamestown to see my anxious aunt (she's not that anxious to not want to leave the house, but it's still made her
dysfunctional in some ways), is really exhausting on all of us, but especially on my parents because they have to help my grandma. I just wish there could be one
Christmas without any drama or stress, but like I said, good luck with that one in my family.
I got a professional camera for Christmas (because of all of the good shots I got in Europe with just a crappy digital camera), along with some new sweaters, beauty
products, The Hangover Part 2, Pirates of the Caribbean 4, and Glee Karaoke Revolution 3, and some other miscellaneous stuff that doesn't really sick out as much.
Overall, a pretty good Christmas. There was only one thing that I didn't get that I wanted: an iPod radio broadcast player for the car, but it's a good thing my
birthday isn't that far away. :P
Well, now that my seasonal job at Cuba Cheese is over for the year (we ended quite early, usually I'm working up until New Years Eve, but I finished up on the 29th),
I'll be looking for a new job for the summer, or just whenever they need me. I have a few places on my list of places to put in applications: my local grocery store's
deli, a Mexican Restaurant 20 minutes from my house, and another restaurant just outside of my town. Obviously, I'll put in other applications to other places, not
fast food places though; the chefs in the culinary program want the students to refrain from working at fast food places if they can avoid it, and I will
gladly avoid them too. I almost worked at my town's McDonald's...I'm so glad I didn't, I'll leave it at that.
I hope everyone also had a great New Year's! Last year, I basically didn't do anything for New Years, so this year, I changed that. Although I could only
find 3 other people who were free to do something, Nate, Sarah, and of course Jonni, the 4 of us still had a ton of fun. We all went midnight bowling, like I
used to do with Dick...sorry, Ric ;), and it was a good time, even though I kept getting hit on by the employees at the alley, but me and Jonni played around with
them and made them leave me alone. Overall, very successful time.
I'm not sure if I've talked about me and Nate being friends again, but we are. After Dick (Ric's new nickname, if you couldn't tell) was out of the picture and Zack
came along, I started talking to Nate again, and this semester, we got to be just as close friends as we were before Dick, especially b/c this past semester was Nate's
first in college, even though he's only at JCC, and he was kind of...well struggling, is the best way to put it, with the difference between course work and social
lives in college from high school. We still talk just about every day and we sometimes hang out too. I know that he's there for me, and I'm there for him, which is
always how it should've been. Nate may have acted like an ass in the past, but he's apologized constantly and I could tell he was sincere. He even really helped me:
On Facebook, there's this guy Robbie who likes pretty much everything I post (major crush on me, if you couldn't tell), and, well this is putting it nicely,
there's no way in HELL I'm gonna be his girlfriend. A few months back, he asked me out on a date when school was over, and I said "It depends
if I'm working or not" just to be nice about it. Well, I wasn't working, and when the movie came out, I didn't have a way to go see the Chipmunks Chipwrecked,
so Robbie offered to take me, so I took him up on his offer, not really using him, but I still made it seem like we were out on a "date." I had planned it out that
Nate and Jonni would come along with because I wasn't comfortable going alone, neither were they, but something came up with Jonni, so she couldn't make it,
but Nate still went. The 3 of us went to see the Chipmunks (yes, shocker for me, I know), and it went fine, no serious awkwardness or Robbie or Nate trying to
make moves on me at the same time, but I don't plan on hanging out with Robbie alone, to be honest, if at all. I don't mind talking from a distance, like texting
or Facebooking, but I don't want to be alone with him. I don't feel comfortable with that. It's a good thing I have friends and family who understand that about me
and aren't gonna take risks and put me in situations with him and me alone together.
ohhhh that anxiety - november 28 2011 4:08pm
So...lately, I've been questioning if the culinary program is really right for me, or if I should just transfer out to an event planning school in Maryland.
A few weeks ago, I started on the "Faculty" rotation, which is when the fine dining part of the culinary building serves lunch to the public, similar to what evening
lab was, but the head of the whole culinary program is in charge of the faculty rotation, and ever since then, I've had an extreme amount of anxiety. It wasn't
happening when I was fabricating meats, or preparing foods for salad bar or Hot Carts, or even when I was cutting up veggies for school lunches, but when I didn't
need it to happen, funny when that happens right? NOT. Anywho, this anxiety has been uncontrollable, but I'm seeing a counselor and trying to cure as much of it as
I possibly can, but the thing is, just talking about it helps me feel better, but doesn't cure it. I've been on the soups rotation ever since last week,
and that has also extremely affected my anxiety, because I'm working by myself, and I'm not 100% sure of what I'm doing. I slightly feel bad, asking others for help
when they have their own stuff to do, but I know if I don't ask for help, then I could completely mess up, and it wouldn't be good. The other students have been
willing to help me, and I really appreciate it, but I don't want them to get the feeling that I'm a complete slacker and I just have other people help me so I don't
have to do it, because it's the exact opposite; I'm a hard worker, and I want to be able to do it without help, but right now, I have little cooking experience (mostly
I've been on Salad Bars, and also doing prep work for the chefs, which I seem to feel a lot more confident about). I think that this rotation would be a lot better
if I wasn't working by myself and that I also had more experience.
My anxiety and my low cooking experience have been giving me second thoughts about the program, whether it really is the right thing for me, or if I should lean more
towards the Party Planning aspect of my career. I've been looking at that school, but I haven't made a decision yet (yes, I've also been anxiety about that too...I
don't know if I'm totally ready to go that far away from home, especially because of how close to my family I am). Over Thanksgiving break, I got thinking. My first
inspiration to go into catering was based off of what I saw happening in the "Front of the House" (aka waitressing/serving [whatever you want to call it]), and
talking to my mom about it, she suggested that maybe waitressing for a catering business would be the best thing for me, especially with all of this anxiety I've been
experiencing, because I'm more confident in serving people, and also I'm a people-person, so I've definitely been reconsidering if I should just go to this school,
or just wait out the next few years and see if my anxiety gets better. I definitely want to at least try to stay a year, but if my anxiety doesn't get better, then
I don't want to stay in the program. I want to be a good role model for the upcoming Freshmen, and I want them to know that the first semester is the worst, especially
when you have little experience and don't really know what's going on, but if this anxiety doesn't go away, I really don't want the freshmen to get the impression
that it doesn't get better after the first semester, you know? Hopefully, this anxiety goes away after this semester's over. I've been told it gets easier, and that
one day, it'll all click, and I'll be more comfortable (as I seem to be when I'm at home, according to my family). But what I do know, is that no matter what I choose
to do, my family and friends will support me with my decisions, and help me in any way that they can. All they want is to see me happy (and hope that I'll be successful,
but if not, they'll still love me and support me as much as possible). It's just all so confusing about what the right thing is for me to do, and this anxiety isn't
helping me think straight, it's just making everything worse. Hopefully, the seniors were all right, and that this will get better after this semester's over.
I recently joined Alfred's Jazz Band, back in percussion, playing vibraphones, auxiliary percussion instruments, even some drum set. It was weird being behind the
set again, because it's been a while since I held a drum stick, but I got right back into the "beat" (get it? :) ), and I get along with all of the members. They're
really understanding if I can't make a practice, especially next semester when I'm gonna be busier, and they all want to be my friend, some of the members want a
little more than friendship, I can tell, but it doesn't bother me, as long as they respect me. We have our first concert this Friday. I'm not at all nervous for
the performance, shockingly. I'm not sure if I'll be doing drum set for the show (the original drummer hasn't been there for the past few rehearsals) or if there'll
be a few songs where I'm on set, but either way, I'm looking forward to it, and I can tell it's gonna go smoothly.
I'm gonna be even busier next semester because I've decided to play volleyball for Alfred. I was originally supposed to play this year, but the questionnaire
that they sent me in the mail, asking about my volleyball history and some questions about myself, got lost in the mail, so I just said, maybe next year I'll play.
I went to talk with the coach because I haven't played for a few years and I'll need time to get my skills back up to speed, and he said that they'll be having
some February practices, and told me to talk to him then. I've also met a couple volleyball players, and they had nothing but good things to say about the coach,
like he's really patient with improving skills in some areas, and that he's the best coach that they've ever had, so it's helped me feel good about playing volleyball
again, even excited about playing. The Jazz is really understanding if I don't make practices because of sports, and since I go to the Wellsville campus for my
culinary stuff, it's easier to work in practice times around my schedule, so we'll see how it goes in February.
I've decided to cut Jordan out of my life completely. We just never talk anymore, and when I asked him to hang out a couple of times after we had that talk, he
blew me off. I've made my effort to be friends; it's not my fault that he doesn't try, so I'm done. If he wants to talk, I'll talk. If he wants to hang out, I'll
go see him and see what he wants, but I'm not gonna chase someone who doesn't want to chase me back. It's a waste of time, and it's only gonna hurt me. The more I
be around him, the more I'll want more from him, but he's not willing to give it back, so I'm done. He's out of my life, and it's definitely helped me a lot. I've
had plenty of other guys chasing me; however, they're all younger, or are the guys who basically no one likes. I don't plan on looking for a relationship as long as
I'm at Alfred, because I know what those guys want, and they aren't gonna get it from me unless it's gonna mean something, they're older and better looking, and
more mature.
Well loves, that's about all that's new and exciting in my lives. I'm gonna update the upcoming events at some point because I'm done with the semester next
Friday!, so it's all coming to an end. Hopefully the next 3 semesters of culinary will be better, but I'm taking it slow and hopefully start to have everything
click in my head soon. Until next time ♥